Article submitted by one of our readers.
I have been living with RSD for over 25 years, and it never ceases to affect my life and my health. Every new day brings with it new challenges, pain, and small bouts of depression. Constant pain is not my friend, unable to participate in activities with my family and I tired quicker than anyone I know. I hate RSD, and I wish it would go away, but realistically I know it never will.
Living on a cocktail every day
I have to take pain medications along with medications to help my nerve pain, depression as well as my depression every single day. I also have to take medication to regulate my bowel movements because the pain medications constipate me. It’s downright embarrassing at times, and not everyone understands what I go through. My own family gets frustrated with me, and I don’t blame them, I get disappointed with myself.
Wishing for a quick death
Sometimes the pain gets so unbearable that I can’t move, eat or sleep. Times like those I just wish I could die, to finally be free from the pain. Death never comes, so instead, I just lay in bed willing the pain to go away. My wife tries to help me, but even the slightest touch is enough to send me into agony-filled hell. All I can do it wait it out and hope that it’s over quicker than it started.
How I got RSD
I had a severe head injury 25 years ago, and that’s when my whole life changed for the worse. I was active, healthy and young. I loved to ride horses, hike, and fish with my family. My buddies and I would play golf every other weekend and my wife, and I loved to travel with our kids all over the country. That all changed when I got my head injury, and the bout of lifelong pain and endless torture began. The doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me, and it took years to get a diagnosis let alone treatment.
My family felt helpless
Whenever I have a flare-up, my family tries so hard to help me, but all they can do is stand by and be present. I feel guilty because I will lash out at them and yell for no reason. My moods are unpredictable at times, and I hate it because I can see how much it hurts them. Specific electronic devices cannot be used around me because particular frequencies will cause me excruciating pain. These can range from cell phones, microwaves, television sets and more.
Thankful for the good days
Lately, the good days outweigh the bad, and I am able to travel with my family for outings for several hours at a time. My life is a balance of counting the bad days and savoring the good days. It’s a vicious cycle and incredibly difficult to live with. The doctors and nurses who help me, my family who support me, and my friends who are there when I need them; I am grateful for all of them.